But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
