i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
this is an emotional support booty call
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
