Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize