Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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