Pants 0. Shit 1.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
