All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
