Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
