I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
