he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
