did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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