i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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