he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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