Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
false alarm. still invincible.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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