the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
