There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
