Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
