I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
