I'm gonna have a badass scar
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
