if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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