Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
