The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
