even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
