He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
