So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
