i used baking grease as lip gloss
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
