I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This is classic penis vs brain.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize