I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
