ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize