As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Randomize
