saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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