I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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