I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So vagazzling was a success
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
