Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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