So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
