Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize