she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
