im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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