Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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