and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize