garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
