Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
