David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize