He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
