apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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