Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
