Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Randomize
