Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
