If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
