You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
