So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
