they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
