I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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