We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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