im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
