this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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