Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
