just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
