I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
zippers are such a cool invention
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
