May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
