Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
